im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize