i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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