My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
