It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize