So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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