Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
