We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
