I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
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Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize