I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
