This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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