Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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  (213): I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg. http://tfl.nu/mbc8
  Replies (1) Good night (2260) Bad night (1135)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of

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  (910): In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of http://tfl.nu/tguw
  Replies (33) Good night (4836) Bad night (552)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.

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  (636): The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen. http://tfl.nu/0t44
  Replies (8) Good night (2953) Bad night (1007)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4422) Bad night (1296)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.

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  (386): It's like God was speaking to me through a penis. http://tfl.nu/n7ui
  Replies (12) Good night (3333) Bad night (1087)
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3705) Bad night (873)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

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  (403): I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name http://tfl.nu/7q8a
  Replies (4) Good night (2577) Bad night (850)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.

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  (903): best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them. http://tfl.nu/kc67
  Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (580)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

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  (313): She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut....... http://tfl.nu/dh75
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (880)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada

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  (775): Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada http://tfl.nu/dfei
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (281)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.

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  (330): We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages. http://tfl.nu/bck0
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle

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  (727): Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle http://tfl.nu/kzpk
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman

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  (+44): Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman http://tfl.nu/09hv
  Replies (1) Good night (790) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.

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  (705): Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/1cng
  Replies (2) Good night (237) Bad night (331)

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