I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
