Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.