I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.