I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.