After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
