I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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