How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
