Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
