i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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