no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
