Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
