we're blogging at a bar
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
