I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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