loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
