I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
