you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
