Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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