I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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