i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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