The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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