I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
