So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
false alarm. still invincible.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
