maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i've created a new STD.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
