Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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