lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
