You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
