i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
