Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
