We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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