so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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