your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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