Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
