I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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