I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
