I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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