I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
