So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
