You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
