she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
