I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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