don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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