i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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