just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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