Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
