what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize