my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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