She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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