STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
