Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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