sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
