I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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