I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
