His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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