Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize