I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize