Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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