On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
