Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
