The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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