I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
